Typical Day At The Gym

Let me walk you through a typical day at the gym for me.

I walk into the gym to see some new face working at the front desk. The last person that had just started working the front desk two days ago probably quit because they were tired of making minimum wage while not actually working. Now I know what you are going to say...no one is paid to do nothing... With MOST jobs you'd be right, but at my gym the desk attendants that are supposed to take my membership card and sign me in, simply leave the bar-code reader up on the front of the desk in the classic self-service style of “I'm a lazy bum, that's why I have my brain-dead job in the first place!”

Now as I walk into a sea of perpetually unfit people doing some stupid thing they heard someone talking about seeing someone do while thinking about joining a gym while drinking a grease and sugar smoothie, I can't help but get pissed off. Most people think I'm “in the zone.” I'm in the zone, the zone of idiots that go to the gym just to tell their friends while they are out to lunch eating death warmed over, “I work out, look at me, I'm better than you.”

At my gym the racquetball players are the first contact I have with what I'll call...Some idiot sitting on the equipment like its a freakin' lawn chair! I can kinda are respect that old guy out their bashing a little blue ball around reliving a bit of the time he spent as a young man...but I'm sorry, I have work to do and you sitting on this bench is stopping me from doing it!

After I finish my warm up, I head to the power cage. The power cage is called the power cage because it is a cold steel frame where powerful stuff happens involving big men and heavy weight! In the corner I spy some idiot doing some dumb isolation exercise with poor form right under the end of the power cage bar! On the other side, there is some chick doing the same thing! As a big man that likes to think he does powerful stuff involving kind of heavy weight, I frown at these people which is my way of saying “Please move!”

After throwing some weight around like peanuts, I want a cold drink of water to quench my powerful thirst. I go to a fountain only to taste luke-warm water. I walk ACROSS the gym to the other fountain to have the same experience and then I wonder...why am I paying to torture myself in a place that won't even take my money and fix the compressors on the water fountains?!?!?!?

After completing the rest of my workout and cleaning machines of other people's sweat, I do my cardio(some times...) and I think about lucky I am to have had my eyes opened... Maybe I should be nice and ask the next one of these I see to give me a spot.